Why did you do that?

Have you ever asked your child this question: why did you do that? 9 times out of 10 they will not know how to answer this honestly and ultimately it could lead to levels of more frustration because you won’t have the answer you’re looking for. Well here are some questions to ask yourself that can help you find your why.

1. Who are you looking at? When looking at the behavior of one person often times you see another. So first ask yourself who’s behavior are you targeting?

2. What was the behavior that you saw them engaged in? Just one word.

3. What happened right before they behaved in that manner?

4. What happened right after they behaved that way?

5. Did it continue or did it stop?

These are questions to help you understand what caused this in the first place. Behaviors occur out of 2 different states (satiation and deprivation) and can occur due to 4 different reasons: attention, escape, access, or sensory input. Depending on the state of deprivation or satiation, determines how much the behavior will increase or decrease. Deprivation increases the chance of a behavior occurring whereas satiation decreases those chances. For example being hungry increases the chance of you eating. However, if you are full, then your probably not going to any more. The question is how high is the value? If someone hasn’t eaten in 12 hours, the value of eating is going to be at the top of their priority list. Whereas if they just finished eating a four course meal, then they probably won’t be eating any time soon.

So for example if you know (sometimes you won’t know if your not consciously looking or around to see) that Johnny has been alone in his room for about an hour playing on his bed with blocks by himself, you could guess that he may have a high value for social interaction aka attention. So let’s say you know this and then you start to hear him jumping off the bed or throwing big blocks across the room you. This peaks your interest so you go look without him knowing your there and confirm that you see him jump on to the floor from the bed and then throw the building block up against the wall. So next what do you do? Reprimand him? Interrupt him by standing in the way of getting back on the bed? Take a way the blocks? Or ignore the event totally and keep doing what your doing?

Let’s say this isn’t the first time you’ve seen Johnny jump off the bed or throwing object. In fact Johnny has been jumping off the bed and throwing blocks across the room for a few weeks now. Typically your response is to go in there and reprimand so you say “Stop jumping right this instance Johnny. Your going to hurt yourself!” with a deep stern voice. Johnny stops immediately so you walk back out of the room. When you walked away did he start jumping and throwing again or did it stop? Hmmmm….

Keep in mind that Johnny was playing with the blocks on the bed correctly for a while so we know he enjoys playing with them the correct way and could guess that he’s not jumping and throwing for pure enjoyment.

If it continued after you walked away there is a good chance that he is trying to get your attention and by giving it during the state of deprivation (go in there and say “Stop jumping right this instance Johnny your going to hurt yourself!” after an hour of being alone) you reinforced the jumping because it happened again when you left (the future). We now know that access away from you maintains the behavior and attention reinforces it. So your best guess would be that in this case Johnny is throwing toys across the room and jumping off the bed to get your attention. Why would we guess that because: he’s been deprived of attention for an hour and right after you left he started doing it again- in hopes that you’d come back! Johnny just wants some time with you ❤️

Although if Johnny hasn’t had his blocks because they’ve been put up high in his closet that changes things because now he’s been deprived. You heard banging around from his room so you go peaking upstairs and saw him throwing item off the toy box while climbing on top of it. Why? Hmmm… There’s a good chance his throwing and climbing is to gain access to the blocks he hasn’t played with in a while.

Or maybe you told Johnny to go clean his room, but instead he argues with you that hes too tired and his rooms already “sorta cleaned”. Arguing is not something that you want to continue to happen but you hate dealing with it so you give in and don’t follow up with the demand. This has become a habit and now his room is never cleaned. Sounds like Johnny has been having more fun with the blocks and arguing is keeping him from cleaning I hopes that you won’t following through. This could be his way of trying to escape from cleaning because he knows that means he’ll have to put the blocks away.

Maybe you and Johnny were upstairs playing together with the blocks. While building your tower you hear this crunching and slurping sound. So you look over at Johnny, and see him chewing on a block. You’ve been playing with him this whole time, he has access to the block, and no demands were placed on him to cleanup, so more than likely he’s chewing because of the sensory input that he’s getting from chewing.

Are you seeing similar behaviors with your child at home? Don’t be mistaken not all behaviors occur because of attention. Every situation is different and without known facts it’s hard to say why a behavior occurs. Some behaviors happen for multiple reasons and without a function behavior assessment or analysis it’s hard to say. If you want guidance on why your student or child is engaging in a behavior is that challenging, book a consultation with a behavioral consultant today! How high is your need for help?